Perception of Reality

I am positive that no one reads this thing. But I like having something to spill things to I guess..haha
And if for some wild reason someone does read this, WARNING: the following is a rant of emotional turmoil..
Have you ever wanted something so badly, it hurt?
There's this person I want to be. She is fictional, but she is really great in every way. She's really smart, beautiful inside and out, she makes her parents proud, she makes her friends proud, she does everything perfectly ( sports, music, etc.), she could have any guy she wanted, she is confident in who she is and what she does...
And I want so badly to be this girl. BUT sadly enough, I'm me. I'm Cierra Madison Haas. And I am having a hard time trying to figure out why exactly I am the way I am..maybe...IDK...this is stupid...what I am saying?...why do I bother, no one reads this shit